Fate

Thursday, November 19, 2009

You're a million miles away.
But it seems like ur right here.
In the chatter of the trees,
And the whispering of the wind
You seem to be lost
Without me,
But it doesn't seem like you want to find your way back,
To me.
I'm scared to call you,
'Cause i don't know what the sound of your voice will do,
To me.
There is this unspoken silence that lies between us,
As vast as the seas that seperate us.
But the truth of the matter is that ur both near and far away.
But if you were really here,
With me,
You still woudn't be mine.

Change yet again.
We come back to college and we find out that our classroom is now bang opposite our old one. This time round when i look out of the window i see the railway tracks.
People going away, people coming back.
I see destinies changing, and i see luck changing hands. I see people boarding. I see people stepping down. I see the train changing tracks.
As the world continues to right itself again and again, i realise that i need to face my reality again and again.
That some truths will always remain bitter truths even if they are coated with sugar candy.
That some people are beyond change, even though every single minute, something, someone, somewhere is changing.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

This picture does something to me. I dont know what but it just does something.

Maybe you belong with me, maybe you don't.
How does one know that this is it?
How does everything become so crystal-clear all of a sudden?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

At the end of the day, you wake up, and you realise.
You see what you couldn't see in the brightness of the sun, and the light of the day.
You see what was hidden by the butterflies, the bees and the chirpy birds, and blooming flowers.
You see what was hidden behind those unspoken promises.
You see what was behind those cottony white clouds and the sea blue sky.
When dusk arrives, the clouds part, throwing away their facade, to reveal the dark stormy night sky.
At the end of the day, and at the dawn of the moonlight, when our dreams go to bed, and reality wakes, that's when we really rise, we wake up, to realise that things will never change no matter how much we dream.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Happiness.
I changed my mind.
It's definitely not a phase.
It's your state of mind.
And if you want it bad enough, and you're looking at things, with the right view point, you'll be happy no matter what. =)

Prince Charming can ride into the sunset with the evil step-sister for all i care.

And why?
Because at the end of the day, I'd want Prince Charming as my best friend- the guy i can laugh around with, rather than the guy who is constantly giving me insecurity panic attacks!
So I won't be sad about Bella and Jake not ending up together.
I'll be happy when Bella tells Jake that he stinks! =D

Life really comes a full circle. i hate the fact that i feel like the bitches i'd love to bitch about. I keep thinking that there's a difference between me and them. That for some inexplicable reason my actions are justified.
Maybe they are. Maybe they aren't.
Because even though i may be sweet and innocent about it, at the end of the day, we're both doing the same thing. Our methods might be different, but we want the same thing.
Feeling like thwm however doesn't make me like them ONE BIT.
But i dont hate myself for this either, and i realise that maybe we all are prejudiced. In some way. Even though we don't want to be.
We look down on others but we do the same things, hiding away somewhere.

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It's all about lines.

The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there’s the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with.

It doesn’t help to get too familiar, to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It’s all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.

At some point you have to make a decision.
Boundaries don't keep other people out; they fence you in.
Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross.

Here's what I know, if you're willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

-Grey’s Anatomy
Season One, Episode Two- The First Cut is the Deepest

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy.
Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy.
Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have, for what it is.
Appreciating small victories.
Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human.

Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know.

At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

-Meredith Grey
Season Two, Episode Nine- Thanks for the Memories

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.
At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer.
Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself.
And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. And as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want. "

"I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope. Against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope. "

-Grey's Anatomy

Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy.

Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to the state of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were.

Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.

As children we are told to smile, be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full.

Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your hope can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It's in these moments, when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self.

-Grey's Anatomy
Season Six, Episode Twenty Two- Shiny Happy People

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull.

So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them.

The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

-Grey's Anatomy
Season 3, Episode 10- Dont Stand So Close to Me

In the eighth grade my English class had to read Romeo and Juilet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous, but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot.

For starters she falls for the one guy she knows she can’t have, then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play choice sometimes goes out the window.

At the ripe old age of 13 I was very clear that love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it’s so romantic, Romeo and Juliet, true love, how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, she deserved whatever she got.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay.

I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and that if I did, we'd be together forever.

Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions... fate wins anyway.

-Grey's Anatomy
Season Two, Episode Eight- Let It Be