Monday, July 29, 2013

Love and the Magnitude of Human Stupidity

The thing with love is you can’t ignore it.

You can’t push it to the back of your mind, like just another trivial thing on your never ending to-do list. It occupies the front row- inflicts blunt force trauma to your head, takes over your brain and ensures that you are incapable of thinking of anything else.

Love isn't convenient. It isn't supposed to be. It isn't easy. And it honestly isn't supposed to be. And saying that over and over again doesn't make it any easier. Take Love Aaj Kal for example- and most relationships today are like that. No wonder then that they don’t end happily. You can’t be practical about love; you can’t write the pros and cons and do a SWOT analysis irrespective of how good at strategy planning or disaster management or conflict resolution you are.

I love the movie for what it says about our generation and its immense and infinite stupidity. We don’t even know what love means and we go around pretending to be these experts, counseling every soul and then some, on what they should do to be happy.

I love the older generation- their simplicity when it came to relationships and the way they were willing to compromise and the way they didn’t care about the ‘distance’. We crib about long distance relationships and ironically today is an era of communication where everything and everyone is only trying to bridge the gap, shrink the distance between two continents, two countries, and most importantly two people- two hearts.
So why, why can’t we accept that love isn’t trouble-free, or undemanding. It can’t be, it never can be. 

Simply because it’s everything. It’s all consuming, overwhelming and devastating. It’s heartbreaking and it can’t not be.
And sometimes irrespective of everything I've said here, you need to let go - you need to move on.

Maddening Mondays

Anger is never really a good emotion - or a good state of being. It's just so unsettling.

I know I've said before that I need to be mad, annoyed, upset - heartbroken to write but maybe I've changed. I can't write despite the fact that I'm so emotionally overwhelmed right now that I need to write.

Or maybe its because, finally my characters have gotten over their stupidity and their emotional tragedies so they need me to be sane when I'm writing. They've grown up. (I feel like such a parent now)

I don't know, I really don't know what it is. But I know that I can't write TUCS right now and that just somehow makes things worse.

*need windy terrace and peace of mind now*

On a different note, its been an interesting week. (day?) Maybe it was a bad dream that led to it, but I've realised (at least for now) that happiness matters more than what you want and where you want to be.

If you're happy now, how does anything else matter?

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Miles to Go, Before I Sleep

I've been seriously writing for a while now - because I think I can't breathe or read anything else, until I get TUCS out of me. At this point in my life, somehow everything is about Karan-Zoya.

Would Karan wear this shirt? Would Zoya actually say this? Would they watch this movie on their second date?

Its exhausting. And its also annoying because no matter where I go or what I'm doing - I'm living their life and not mine.

At work (yes, its been a year of that which is why I really don't write anymore), there are moments when I just stop and think of what Zoya would do if she was here. And that's proof of how insane I'm becoming because Zoya isn't even in this profession.

Anyway, so I am at an interesting point right now because the next ten pages I write will basically take the biggest decision there is - Does this book have a happy ending or a sad one?

Its a question that has haunted me since I wrote the first page in February 2010, and tragically enough I still don't have an answer.

I don't know if I should just leave it to "Fate", where I just write and see where the story takes me, or if I should actively take this decision and then choose to go down a particular path.

Mind over Matter, Heart vs. Brain?

It seems weak and silly to leave it to Fate when I've invested so much in TUCS but I don't think I have the strength in me to choose.

Hopefully, by September 30th, 2013 - we'll know :)