Destiny

I once wrote about Destiny and how it is in OUR hands- we choose to build those damn bridges and we choose to cross them too. And I still believe in that.
But what happens when despite all your efforts, you never quite meet at the bridge at the same time?
Or what happens if you're on parallel bridges, so close but your paths can never intersect, you can never meet.
What do you do when Fate decides to be funny, and makes two people build and cross two different bridges at the same time, so once again you're at opposite ends?
And what happens when despite your best efforts, right in front of your eyes, those bridges burn?
Why is it so difficult sometimes, to have something as simple as a conversation? Why is there always an interruption, an interference or simply just conflicting schedules? And considering how life gets busier as you grow older, what with all the responsibilities, how do you get Destiny to cooperate?
Because at the end of the day, you have to agree that some things are simply not in your hands.
You could build that bridge, cross it, and march up to that persons house- but they could just be on a plane to the other side of the world. You could be too late.
And more than anything else, you can plan your perfect moment and your ideal life and go about trying to make it happen, but you can't control what someone says to you, or how they come around and change your world, and maybe your beliefs.
You simply can't.
So Destiny, I've realized, is an annoying pain. Because it's about time really.

Stand By Me

Can Happiness cripple you? Or is that just me?
When you're so overjoyed, overwhelmed and over the goddamn moon about everything that's happening, you absolutely love what you have. You fear change.

Happiness cripples you. It makes you crave constancy, and hate change.
Because you love everything you have so much and you want to hold on to the moment and never let it go, never let it pass by you. Because you’re so afraid that tomorrow will only bring unhappiness, tomorrow can only bring unhappiness. Because things are so perfect right now, that they simply can’t get any better.
And any change that comes tomorrow, will only make you a little less happy.
And so you want permanence and a steady life. And you worry. 
And in a world that only changes, it is such a handicap to detest change, to cling to what you have right now.

Happiness can be so disastrous. 
Because if you're stupid like me, it can make you fear tomorrow. 

4 am

I read the other day on Twitter (yes, I hate to admit it, but I no longer hate Twitter) that love is about wanting to be together through those tough times, not the good ones. (JP, you are truly brilliant.)
And it got me thinking, because despite the fact that TUCS is essentially a love story (I'm trying my best to change that) and the fact that I write about love all the time, I don't think I know what my definition of it is.
Does anybody for that matter? But what JP said, got me thinking, and somehow I wanted, needed to know my definition.

I used to write all the quotes I liked on love and life, as a silly 15 year old, and I still treasure the one piece of paper someone once scribbled quotes on and gave me because she just knew me, and she always will.
The ones that have stayed with me over the years and all the drama are just these three-
"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning"
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"
And the most recent, and most true- "Love is eating twenty four ounces of raw fish at 4 o clock in the morning"

So what is love then?
And how can it be the most beautiful thing in the world, when it has the power to make you miserable?
Grey's Anatomy has this one line, "The person who invented the phrase happily ever after should have his ass kicked so hard." which I believe in so much. Because it's never going to be easy right?
Whether you've been married for 50 odd years or if you're just getting to know each other, or if you've always known each other, love is this potent drug that messes with you.
And it's never going to get any easier, because tomorrow will always bring another unresolved issue, another unforeseen complication, a stupid misunderstanding or simply just a difference of opinion.
We grow up with this foolish notion, nurturing this naive dream, this fantasy of what love is- and in reality love can be dark and terrifying because of the power it wields over you.

And while I'm no expert in the field, the one thing I do believe in- Love isn't a game to be won. Its not Him vs. Her and who was right, or who always texts first. Its about an 'us' or a 'we'. And you've just got to make the most of the time you get, because you'll never be able to turn back time.

Love has soul-shattering happiness and heartbreaking lows. Its not simple. It simply can't be.
And somehow, even though I wish I could, I don't think I can ever quite describe what it is- because it takes on so many forms, so many shapes, and more so because the meaning changes with time and from person to person.

And yet, if you know this, love might just be the simplest thing in the world-
Someone once told me a quote which for me truly reflected the essence of the whole damn thing-
If two people love each other but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
Never. 

One Step Closer

It's November! :)
Funny how I always find time and topics to write on during my finals. (Anything to not study!)

This Ranveer Singh has that elusive thing we call the X factor. He's such a natural. So charismatic, so much at ease in front of the camera. Next big superstar (read SRK) in the making- I think so!
Really hoping that Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl, his next movie, is not a rip off of John Tucker Must Die or a new version of Bunty Aur Babli because that would just be such a disappointment.

Also, considering how its November 2nd today, I have to say this-
People say he is arrogant. I agree.
But I think he has a right to be. This superstar, (the one who is more popular than Tom Cruise) came from nowhere, or to be more precise from Rajendra Nagar, Delhi and he's managed to win a billion hearts, including mine. I love how he can laugh at himself and say that he'll do anything- dance at weddings even, for money. I love how he says that everything he tries to do today, he tries to do it in a big way, so his parents can see it from heaven. And I love that famous patented dance step, the one that always makes me smile- arms outstretched, legs apart, knee slightly bent, waiting for the girl of his dreams to just stay in his arms. And more than anything else, I can't help but die just a little bit when he says, "Haan, ek baat aur- aapki halwai ki dukaan toh mein hadap kar hi rahoonga"
Also, Ra.One in 5 days collected 170 crores. To which all I can say is, "I told you so."
Happy Birthday SRK! Just hurry up and make a few dozen more movies so I can fall for you all over again. Till then I shall settle for reruns of DDLJ, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham, Main Hoon Na, Om Shanti Om and of course Kal Ho Na Ho.

"I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I've set you apart"
              -The Scientist, Coldplay

This song, and these lines in particular, I don't know what it is, but it's not something I can ever let go of. Which is strange because it's such a simple thought. So simple, yet so spectacular.

I wish I could write something this powerful in TUCS instead of obsessing over chapter titles as usual. The current obsession is 'One Step Closer' and for the life of me I cannot decide what should happen in a chapter with this title. THIS, by the way, is the precise reason why I think I'll never finish TUCS- because I get too distracted and too involved in the most inane things. WHO designs a chapter around a title?

Anyway, listening to this song got me thinking (again) about love (again!) and life (Why am I not surprised?)
If only every one of us remembered that, wouldn't everything be okay? Wouldn't we always want to make things okay? Wouldn't we then just push away insecurity and all those doubts that creep up, and just go and do something to make it all okay?

What it also got me thinking about is that in a world where the only constant is change, why, why are there some people who never do change?
Is it naive, or wrong to hope that they will? To hope that relationships will mend, that they will heal with time?
Time after all they say is the best healer. (Of course I think it's all in the mind, and it is the mind that just changes the channel and makes you forget- thereby healing you, but alright I'll let time take credit this one time.)
And after you've tried everything, do you try some more or just give up?
So my question is, when do you give up? Just when and how do you know that it's time?

Heroes, Friends and Epic Dramas

I cannot believe I haven't written about Airtel's 'Har Ek Friend Zaroori Hota Hai' or Hero Moto Corp's 'Hum Mein Hai Hero' yet. What have I been doing? *rolls eyes* But better late than never.

Har Friend Zaroori (HFZ) is a brilliant ad. No, not just because the song is so fucking catchy even when you listen to it in Telugu and can't understand a word. It reflects real life- it's real. I can't quite think of another word to describe it- somehow epic, real, catchy and funny are the only things that come to mind, and really I know I'm not doing it justice. While most people love the kanjoos friend and the restaurant bill ad, my favourite is the F1 ad. Again, not just because one guy is Rohan from K3G, (I can't believe I didn't realise that!) or because the main guy is so charming, but just because it's so... fun. (What is with my vocab?) It makes you want to just go out and be with the people you love, and I think the drastic image change that Airtel is going with- to appeal to the youngsters out there- it's a good idea. A very Blackberry type stark turnaround. I don't know if Airtel has made their shift from JWT to Taproot for good, but I think they should seriously consider it. Taproot just has this way of tapping into our souls and picking themes that are just SO right.

A direct contrast to the fun HFZ campaign is Hero Moto Corp's 'Hum Mein Hai Hero' ad, which has brilliant lyrics and builds on the concept of a hero in every Indian's heart and soul- man, woman or child. It focuses on the struggles we face, and how we triumphantly rise in the end. My favourite one is the little boy, proudly and determinedly playing cricket against the Indian army, after the rest of his friends scamper away because the ball smashes against the army car window. I think that kid is brilliant- the scene where he refuses to give them the bat, and so (endearingly) stubbornly decides to bat- it's epic. I wish I had written it.
It makes me cry. Yes, really it does. (But then again so does Cabury's Diwali Celebrations ad- for the third year in a row) The aggressive ad campaign was designed to increase the public loyalty and inform us that Hero Honda is now just Hero.  It's SO Indian- full tugging at the heartstrings type ad, designed to be melodramatic yet subtle. Again, here too, I love the song- this time though for it's lyrics. The music by A R Rahman is  simply outstanding. Fantastic branding and rebranding on Hero's part. If you need inspiration, to do anything- you should just listen to the song.
(Note to self: Take your own advice, listen to the song and go study!)

Another thing I have to mention here- the new Nokia ad, to combat declining sales because of the growth of Blackberry in India- the ads that feature WhatsApp and Burp apps- brilliant again. I love the way it's been shot and the entire feeling- smooth, sleek, stylish and just so grown up but so graceful, so hazy yet so clear. I love the styling and colours- it's very similar to the Levis 'Go forth' campaign. Whether its the eternal question, 'Where we do we hang out tonight?' or the constant debate 'Green or Red Heels', the ads seem to say that Nokia is one of us, that the brand understands us- the youth.
And just the line- 'being young- is not as easy as it looks' - brilliance. I also particularly like the campaign title- Epic Dramas and the line- Smartphones for Life's Epic Dramas, because epic and drama just happen to be some of my favourite words. I think again, this is an ad, the target audience would really really connect to so they've got it bang on.

I really wish I didn't have to go study at this point, for Market Research that too, but I think passing finals, rather unfortunately is a requirement for a job in Marketing. 

Wanting Darkness

William Saroyan said, "I do not know what makes a writer but it probably isn't happiness."
And I know that to be largely true. I can write, the words just seem to come, when I'm sad, upset, annoyed, stressed, avoiding things, heartbroken, angry, frustrated.
At that point, it doesn't matter if i'm working on TUCS or drafting a piece on an ad campaign or even ranting like this.
And strangely enough, when I'm happy- I love to revisit my thoughts, I love to edit, but anything I try to write- it lacks soul.
Maybe its because I once read somewhere that when you're happy you want to go out and feel things, you don't want to stay boxed up at home, in a dark corner furiously typing away and generally cursing. You don't want that familiar rush of excitement that fills you when you know you've written a brilliant sentence, because that rush- that's already present in every cell of your body.
You don't want to feel the anxiety you always suffer from when you take a breath to stop and read what you've filled up the page with. You don't want to grumble about how slowly you're typing because the words just seem to be flying out of your head and you're terrified you're going to forget or let go of a precious thought.
You don't want to get mad at yourself, your mind for distracting you.
Writers are broody. Its a moody thing. It makes you dark, grumpy and annoyed. It makes you crib.
When you're happy you want to go out there and fly- and then, you're so reckless that you don't even care, you don't even worry about the fact that you might fall. You want to go out there and sing songs like a musical about the most mundane things- eating toast and drinking a cup of coffee in the morning suddenly becomes so beautiful. And you don't care about who you annoy in the process.
When you're happy, you can't write- you can't pour your soul out on a piece of paper.
So my writers block- is happiness.
And I can't quite decide what I'd like to have. 

Too Many Dreams

My finals start this Saturday. Hopefully someone will knock some sense into me and I'll start studying tomorrow. But the thing is, I really don't want to write these finals. Even though I LOVE the subjects. I just wish it was the 12th of November already and they were done. Finished.

And then there are a zillion other things that I want. Somehow I can never quite make up  my mind about what exactly I want- I'm always indecisive. And it gets annoying. As annoying as that stupid butterfly that keeps flitting about or the kid who never quite sits still for a second and you want to cry or snap or kill someone.
I find a new dream to chase every day and while that is brilliant in so many ways, sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who picked one dream and lived it, and just lived happily. I wish I could be more balanced.. more stable. (More grown up?)

But I'm always in this rush to do more, to do something new.
I wish I knew the purpose of my existence- why am I really here?
Because there are days when all I want to do is write- but I lack the firm resolve that a writer needs- the ability to stop whining and basically shut the hell up and write/report a story as the situation demands. Writer's Block lives with me, and somehow no matter what I do, I can't quite kick him out.
Oh and did I mention I generally write rubbish? Because that's a big problem too.
There are moments when I want to market films (Thank you SRK for a marketing budget of 52 crore rupees for Ra One that has added yet another option in my list. Thanks. Really.)
Then there's always copywriting and the mad mad world of an ad agency- so alluring, yet so suicidal.
Also on my list is brand management, but that would mean working on the company side and not the agency and in my head that's both betrayal and boring- and I'm still confused about this anyway.
Online Marketing is the future- I know that- and I want that but I don't know if I want to specialize in it from the agency side or the company side.
And then there are those days, when I want to give it all up, and go work in sets and props at Prithvi.

Of course I could always resort to picking chits, which is my go-to solution for every decision I can't make, but somehow I don't think that's going to work this time.  And I know no one can take this decision for me- its my life after all- but a little push in the right direction won't hurt. Considering how I have about 6 months to find a job I like at a company I like in a city my parents like. Sigh.

I wish I could be a child again. Or even just 19.
(See, this is what I'm talking about. I started this post with 'I wish I was more grown up and stable' and now.. Sigh.)