The Not-So-Write Way

The sad part about being (or rather wanting to be) a writer is that nobody thinks its a real job. Or even considers the possibility that it might be. Which is a very insulting thing to think, but I'm not going to get into that. Of course there are several professions that I think don't deserve to be considered as real jobs, but I'm polite enough to keep those views to myself.
And, no tweeting things does NOT make you a writer.
But my question is, if nobody had ever sat down to write, the world would have been a very boring place to live in. Really. I could say~ can you imagine life without 'The Zoya Factor' or 'The Undomestic Goddess', but I think most people can. But everyone has that one book, or that one article or that one line right? That they simply cannot ever give up on.
Words are what we're made up of, or rather what we want to be made up of. Thank you, for the skin and the bones, but I think most humans spend a large part of their lives in TRYING to tell people what they think, or feel, or believe in. Life is a constant struggle where we're trying to say things, trying to express our stupidity in words, and if more people wrote, or read, they would realise how easy it is to do that.
Not to mention what would we read if no one had ever written anything? And considering how I have the memory of a goldfish, I'm not exactly a fan of the remember-everything-you-say/hear school of thought which is how it was until writing came about.
Of course I would be extremely grateful if no one had ever compiled or written a Banking or a Programming textbook, but well you can't always have everything your way.
So my point really is, what's so wrong in being a writer anyway? 

Addicted to Advertising

Dear Pharma,
I know you save lives and all of that which makes you a necessity but can you please spend some money on advertising so that the brilliant ideas we get can actually be used?
Sincerely,
Creative

Anyway moving on~ so, a little more than a week at an ad agency was enough to tell me I'd fit right in, because everyone there is a little eccentric. Sorry strike that bit about the little.
And there can be no advertising where there is no insanity. That I now totally believe in.
In one week I've learnt that all commercials are referred to as TVCs, rather tragically you cannot escape science, all clients are a royal pain, Creatives have to be pampered by Servicing and that no matter what anyone says Servicing is an annoying occupation. Also, if you are indeed sleeping at work, you're halfway there to being a highly successful advertising professional.
I also now know that I cannot for the life of me see myself doing anything else. Except maybe writing.
Advertising is my drug. Its what gives me a high. Which would clearly explain my obsession with Shubh Aarambh, but never mind that.
Advertising isn't easy. If you're in Creative, you've got to be okay with a constant rejection of ideas, because all ideas don't make sense, they aren't pratical, or they are too complicated. And apart from the rejection, you've got to be able to let go instantly, and continue ideating so you can suggest something else. It's just not easy. Especially when you're surrounded by some brilliant minds who shoot off ideas every 2 minutes. It isn't easy to let go of the ideas you get, the words you put together because copywriters are sentimental fools. We don't like changing it, because to us, it fits perfectly. You're not going to go and change your baby's socks just because some distant relative or even the father for that matter says that it doesn't match the clothes. You'd just hit the person, and get on with life. In advertising, you can't. And of course it doesn't help that everyone thinks that they are excellent copywriters. *rolls eyes* Because ultimately it's just about putting a few words together right?
Advertising- even though it is the most exhausting, tiring and painful work I've ever had to do, is what makes me happy. So even if I had to scrap the best idea I had or let go of 3 brilliant words or write briefs all day long, or research some obscure thing and write up an extensive report which no one will read anyway, it's okay. The idea of 48 hour work shifts, lack of a proper life, and never getting time to write (apart from copy of course) is all just completely okay somehow.
Because its Advertising. Its worth it.
It can't not be.

Can I Just Get A Dog Instead?

Humans are a weird bunch. I've always known this, but somehow this past week has made me realise that so much more. We're all exactly alike and so unbelievably different in the same moment that it's rather scary. And as much as I wish we didn't need other humans to survive, rather sadly we do. And I don't quite get it. Because every single person you know or care about is going to annoy you or disappoint you at some point, the way you will annoy or disappoint every single person you know. Loyalties change, people grow apart, and things surprise you. It's a constant cycle of change. And I suppose it is only fair because sometimes we find someone else. We find others to build dreams with, strangers make us laugh, and sometimes we find friends when we least expect them. So it is only fair that that balance remains right? It is only natural that people grow up and grow apart? Only obvious that this too will change right?
Which is precisely why I think we all should just adopt a pup and live with that for the rest of our lives. Happily.
Because its simpler. And easier. And they are much nicer.
And we can then save all the drama for the fiction.
The lesser the humans, the better.
If only I could bring myself to believe that.
But anyway, if you're lucky, yes I am going to attribute this too to Fate obviously; So yes, if you're lucky, you find those people again. You get back the ones you once loved and it seems like no time has passed. Everything is the same all over again and you know it always will be. Though all the rubbish we call life, you know, it will be okay. If you're lucky.  

Call It What You Will, It Still Isn't In Your Hands

You can call it Murphy's law or Destiny or Fate or whatever you want to call it but the truth is that nothing ever goes as per plan. You can write down precisely what you want to achieve and make a 20 step plan. You could have painstakingly done a SWOT analysis over and over again and thought of everything. You could have even made that final list without a single scratch or smudge- much like a perfectionist. But something would have been forgotten, something would have been spelt incorrectly and something will go wrong. There will be something you haven't factored in or someone will just stupidly be late. And sometimes you just get up from the wrong side of the bed. And there's nothing you can do about it.
And that's a good thing because a life perfectly as per plan would be utterly boring right? Except its hard to believe that when it happens.
No, I'm not a pessimist. Cynical- maybe.

Checks, Conflict and Consistency

It seems like all I do these days is write about how awesome I think everything else is. No wonder I'm not writing anything these days. Well anything worth reading. Its good in the way that I hated reviewing things and now I actually don't mind it so much.
Which brings me to Ashton Kutcher and No Strings Attached. Yes, I know I'm completely insane but its him. And when he says the things he says- "Wait. You should know that if you come any close I'm never letting you go." I want to kill myself. Yes, its corny, and predictable and I'm pathetic but look at him and tell me you disagree. Considering how Mash finally accepted that he looks good, I dont think anyone in their right mind will say otherwise.
Not to mention he makes her a period mix. I have never seen that before. It was hilarious and it made me smile which is all movies like this one are supposed to do anyway.
Also, I think a huge part of the charm is that he's a writer. *sighs* And the fact that she's a doctor, in Mash's words, makes it feel like a Greys hangover. Anyway coming back to the most important scene in the movie- him leaning against the car with a hearbreakingly right smile, not to mention those checks on their V Day date. He looks eatable. Really.
Did I say I write reviews these days? Sorry, I meant I gush.
Gush and bitch.
I hate the fact that I actually like the Docomo ads with Ranbir. Because I hate both the brand and the star. But the tagline- keep it simple, silly is pretty good. And as much as I may roll my eyes everytime it comes on I can't help grinning. Its annoying. So much conflict I cannot deal with. Even though conflict celebrates the differences in thoughts that exist both between and within every human being.
All over this year I've seen brands I love make really crappy ads, and brands I hate make really good ads. Its annoying. It really tests brand loyalty and the ad obsessed person in me dies.
The Zoozoos are now starting to annoy me. I cannot believe I am saying this but yes. Its a little too overdone now, and considering how the IPL is going to go on for another month, I'm actually dreading the ads to come.
Then there's the Aircel ad which for the life of me I cannot figure out why I like. But I do.
BMW has an ad I subconciously hum along to and Idea has a very pathetic 3G launch campaign. Because one Ab Jr is enough. I don't need 3 for 3G, and no I don't even want to get Idea.
Coke continues with their 'Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' campaign and I continue to pray each day for the same thing~ 'Pull that ad out already.' And Cadbury comes out with a not-so-spectacular campaign to follow the absolutely splendid Shubh Aarambh one.
None of the airlines seem to be coming out with any ads which is a pity because I love airports, planes and just the concepts they bring about in their ads.
And SRK~ What are you doing? No, really. I can't remember the last good ad you did. Which is a shame.
Also I'm so grateful I'm no longer a Nokia person because the new ad that they've come out with makes me want to kill myself. Its a retarded song conversation between a boy and girl and accepting friend requests and making social life better. Also I really dont think it was my imagination so I'm pretty sure there was a line that went 'Btw baby smile' or something like that. *hits head against wall repeatedly*
Thankfully there's Airtel as always to cheer me up with their heartbreakingly good ad- the 3G video calling featuring a young soldier and his wife~ makes me sigh.
And Karbonn which always makes me change the channel. At least some things never change!

Death By Stupidity

TUCS is going to kill me by the time I finish it.
No, really. And it's not because of the large legal messes- the fact that such a company cannot exist according to the Companies Act, 1956 or the fact that my solution is confusing me, or the fact that I don't have enough taglines or because I still haven't named everyone.
It's because somehow, invariably, whenever I sit down to write at an absurd hour like 2 am, because I'm in that kind of a mood, I write about food- or incidents involving food. Or in some cases, ad campiagns for restaurants. So, being the stupid person I am, I go research this food.
And then I die.
Why?
3 words- Chocolate Ripple Cake
*sighs*

Bombay in the Rains

I want to be back in Bombay. Especially when it is raining.
Yes, it is dirty. Pathetically unimaginably dirty. More so in the rains. I'm not even going to talk about how littered and crowded the beaches are considering I haven't been to a Bombay beach in about seven years now. And the fact that the water in the sea is anything but blue in colour. And Bombay is almost always smelly- it smells of fish, salt, sweat and the sea. And then there's the perpetual dust and dirt in the air. And the humidity. And the fact that you cannot see a single star in the sky even on the clearest of nights. And that ten minutes outside and you're dying to escape the heat. And its an insanely, ridiculously competitive place to be in. Bombay is known for its tragedies. But I still long to be back there.
Because at the end of the day, nothing does quite inspire me to write, or make me smile to myself the way Bombay and Nariman Point do. Nariman Point is one of the most amazing places I've been to simply because what you can see from there will leave you speechless. Whether it's the Queens Necklace, or the Arabian Sea that stretches out indefinitely before you, Nariman Point is where we go back to find ourselves again. Which is why every couple that has ever romanced in Bombay has on some sultry evening or the other come here to take in the wind, the rain, the sea and to embrace the overwhelming nature of love. And why irrespective of what day of the week it is, Nariman Point is where every person who has given up, goes, to find that strength. Nothing makes me calmer than the Sea Link, which in the night is absurdly non-threatening despite the fact that the sea is pitch black and you can't see a thing save for a few small buildings that dot the hinterland. Despite being the busiest, most over crowded place in India, Bombay - the big, scary city- the land of dreams, has this unruffled, serene even, quality to it. It makes you sigh peacefully. I miss Bombay- the smell, the sounds, the view and more than anything else the spirit. And even though it's been seven months since I went there, I haven't forgotten anything about the view from Marine Drive and Nariman Point.
And considering how TUCS is based in Bombay, I really need to go back to figure out various important, highly crucial and strategic details like where exactly I want the offices to be located, (Cuffe Parade obviously) and where everyone lives, (Malad, Bandra, Colaba, Andheri and Chowpatty) and where they eat (Theobroma- Colaba, Indigo Deli- Lower Parel, Basilico, Jazz By The Bay- Marine Drive, Trishna- Kala Ghoda, Olive, Mahesh Lunch Home and Brijwasi Sweets-Andheri). And no, I refuse to Google this, or ask any one of my many million extended family members who live there simply because it just isn't the same thing as actually feeling what Bombay makes me feel~ inspired, hungry and just so damn happy.