Time really flies. My baby niece is three yers old today, which is so shocking because it was barely yesterday when she was crawling all over the place and now she wants to do gymnastics. :)
The fact that time flies annoys me. It constantly reminds me how we only have this moment, how tomorrow like today will fly away. Its not so nice to realise that i'm turning nineteen. Soon.
What is ironic though is the number of hours i waste attempting to put my pointless thoughts into words, as i continue my efforts to come up with something, that is a five on ten. And yes, this means that i'm officially back to working on TUCS.
I know it's all about seizing the moment and capturing now, and everything. I know how its now or never. I know how we are supposed to live in today because who knows what will happen tomorrow. I know all of that. I also know that if we spend too much time wondering, before we know it our lives will be over.
But sometimes, just sometimes, some things are just worth waiting for, and somethings are just meant to be, only in the future, however bleak and uncertain and out of our grasp it may be. Sometimes.

'Hey there beautiful'!!! ;)
I'm hoping that this might just cheer you up a little and maybe we'll be done with the "happyfuckingnote" and the "insert swear word" bit.
So parents can get a little crazy at times. Who knows that better than us?! And considering how we're dealing with everything we're dealing with, you think they'd spare us sometimes.
But of course life doesn't work that way.
We have annoying days, irritating days, weird days, moody days and just days.
So hang in there and maybe things will get better. Also if you dont meet me before leaving i'll hate you for the rest of eternity. Which probably wasnt the greatest thing to say to make you feel better i know but...
Technically though we really cant do anything about our parents. The only thing we can do is just make sure that we are better parents to our kids.
On second thoughts, considering what we're like i can only imagine what our kids will be like so i see how that is going to be a problem too!
But well, what i want to say is that we'll always have each other if that's any consolation. :)

I was extremely tempted to write that improper planning and non availability of power only further leads to increasing costs when compared to price trends which plunges the economy into an abyss of losses which would further detoriate the situation of recession. Then I realised that this was an Economics paper for St. Francis College for Women and not an exhaustive report on the country’s economic situation that was going to be read by the likes of Kapil Sibal and Omar Abdullah, both of them being politicians I admire.

My paper went really well, because the Ricardian theory of rent came and I love that answer. It took me almost an hour and 8 A3 sides to finish that 20 mark answer so I really think that that theory is special. Invigilating us today was a certain aJeeb Ma’am who apparently hates anyone and everyone with a vengeance. Francis that way is a pretty weird place to be in. Considering how I’m a pretty weird person and how I find Francis pretty weird I think both the pretty weirds nullify each other making Francis a normal place to be in which I find hard to believe. =]

As I’m walking down the steps to yoga class, I’m thinking about what a shopaholic said- ‘Born Indian, Buy Indian, Do Indian’ which if you must know was in reference to her maid wanting to do ‘pocha’ with a mop, instead of the traditional bucket and cloth method. While I wasn’t exactly thinking about pocha styles, I was thinking about how we love to criticize our country. OMG India doesn’t have this, it doesn’t know how to do that, and we’ll never be able to get this etc etc. In about 4 years from now, the majority of the Indian population will be the working population i.e the age group of 16-65. That I believe is our time to shine, only if we all haven’t fled to the West before the shine time arrives.

I can’t get the song ‘Papa Kehte Hain’ out of my head. It keeps popping up at all odd times. I think this is obviously because of Karan and Vishal and the time I spend thinking about Shall Run, but the thing is that they are already famous, with the Shall Run empire. So technically the song doesn’t apply to them no?

I believe in Fate a lot. Which is obvious considering how my blog is titled Fate. I was brought up believing in Fate and hard work both, but I do like to blame Fate once in a while for the things that happen in my large extended family. I’m seriously thinking of scrapping ‘The Unnamed Corporate Story’ and working on a family pot-boiler which has everything from poisoning to police stations and parental conflicts and honeymoon couples, card rooms, construction and cars.

Also considering how my parents and I have taken almost all our major decisions through chits, I’m surprised that they didn’t name me using chits. And now when I suggest chits, all I get is two dirty looks. I can't help it. I really do miss picking chits. The motivation speech that my mom was giving to me in GVK One really resembled a Hindi movie pot-boiler, complete with stuff about the enjoying the future by working hard now. There came a point where I did actually ask her to stop because there were people looking for the cameras since they thought we were the lead actors. =]

There is one leading English newspaper daily that claims that Sania-Shoaib are already married, while the largest circulated English daily in South India claims that the marriage might be put off. Why does everybody report differently? It only confuses me when all I want to do is drink coffee and read about what is happening all around me. Also I'm dying to watch IPL but I don't think that I'm very lucky for KKR although my dad is. He, being he, refuses to watch their matches, ensuring that they lose.

There is some kind of happiness in eating your own parathas. I’ve never been happier eating Chicken 65 and paratha as I was today, simply because I made it. Ditto with the brownies. Now all I need to do is to learn how to make the chicken as well., so that we don’t have to keep calling the Ex Stone Valley Canteen Cook – Antaryami, (I swear that is his name) every time I’m starving which is pretty much all the time considering all the swimming that’s been happening.

I finally found the perfect twist for ‘The Unnamed Corporate Story’ because when I discussed what I had in mind, my dad said it was perfectly possible, which removed all the doubts from my mind. This also means that I won’t have to ‘iron out the details’ of a love puppy as Miss I-have-copyright-on-lovechild suggested which honestly is a huge relief, because it means I can get back to writing finally. Love puppies aren’t exactly as motivating as corporate troubles. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to be mailing it to the two people who want to know what happens anytime soon because I want to be a little sadistic.

Oh and then there is also the small problem that writing such a big problem requires a lot of research and patience, neither of which I like. Considering how long I had to wait to get, discuss, and finalize the idea, and the execution hasn’t even started, I think it’s only fair that you guys have to wait for some time to read it.

This is going to be a very random one, because the day I had was pretty random too.


I wish neatness wasn’t a prerequisite for the accounts paper I wrote today. It’s really not my fault that I kept changing my mind about how I wanted to treat the depreciation, or if I wanted to capitalize life membership fees. It’s also not my fault that I kept interchanging October and July and that matters because we need to find depreciation accordingly for 6 or 9 months. It really isn’t. Of course it’s another thing that yesterday was spent in researching books at Landmark, bitching with cousins and debating about whether or not we had an exam due to the riots. And not studying. Also it wasn’t exactly very nice, when I kept remembering lines from my book, and ideas to make them better during my paper, not only because it made me copy all the wrong amounts in the wrong places but also because I couldn’t note down these suggestions anywhere. And now they’re gone.

My horoscope was unusually right today. Surprisingly enough, both the papers predicted different stuff, and both the horoscopes came true.

“There may be a minor mishap, resulting in an arm or leg injury. It’s the right time to execute your ambitious plans. You may have to be strict with your subordinates at work.”

I fell down and twisted my ankle. I also succeeded in cutting my leg with my own toe nail. The levels of my intelligence surprise me every day. In spite of knowing that this might happen, I still let it happen. Maybe it’s because they generally write crap, so on the one day they decide to actually predict my future, I really don’t pay attention. I know it’s just the right time for the execution, but I’m not finished yet, so my ambitious plans will have to wait for a little bit more. And I don’t have subordinates, so I cant be strict with them.

“Every time you think you’re finished with an assignment or task, it will turn out that there is one last detail that needs attention. It’ll be frustrating, but it won’t last. Remember: one step at a time. If you try to do everything at once you will certainly fail.try to keep your vision focused on what you are trying to achieve. Remember that criticism can be helpful.”

The last detail is so true of my book, because every time I think that I have 5 perfect pages, there is always an XX somewhere because I still have to fill in a name, or a date, or an age and even at one place a colour. I cannot even choose a colour nowadyas without thinking it through. Also I do realize that I cannot study for accounts, and write my book at the same time. Which is why I chose to write my book instead because I’m focusing on finishing it. Criticism was indeed helpful, when my mother pointed out that it was impossible for teenagers to be so efficient in life, so I might as well be a little realistic and make them 23 or even better 25. Clearly she doesn’t realize how efficient I am. Or maybe they're lying to me and I'm actually 20 years old, which would explain all the not wanting to grow up sadness.

Since I’m in such a writing mood these days, I often think that I should just chuck my MBA plans, and stick to writing all my life. Then I remember how moody I am, and I won’t exactly be allowed to write about whatever I want to, considering how half the time I don’t know what I’m writing about. Then I also remember the internship, and how I longed to do the advertising.

There is this song that is stuck in my head. Considering how its about cocaine, living fast, dying young, divorcing models, forgetting love and lots of other things that i wont talk about, i dont know why i like it so much. Maybe i was 'fated' to be stuck with it. It refuses to budge even an inch; it refuses to leave my mind. I think it’s just as stubborn as me. So we’re involved in this battle, neither of us can win. My parents do not understand why I need to listen to so much of music, but quite often music is my inspiration to write. That and nature of course. There was a spectacular rainfall two days ago. Yes, spectacular is my new favourite word which means ur gonna have to read it a lot. Maybe that feeling of being in awe of nature, of feeling so insignificant, so impossibly tiny in front of the beauty that surrounds us makes me write.

The sun peeps at me from behind a curtain of clouds only to hide again. The first drops of rain fall asking me to let go of my fears. The sky is overcast and joyful. The stormy winds are spreading dust over everything, concealing all that there is. Much like man and his cloak of pretences. The roar of the wind engulfs us all, demanding our complete attention. And the quiet rainfall only reminds us of the serenity of life whose absence continues to plague us.

The smell of the first few drops of rain mingling with the earth’s mud takes control of my mind. I can’t seem to concentrate on everything. It’s the smell of the bacteria, Actinomycetes, that grows in the soil that produces spores when it rains, which my biology teacher told me in the 10th, and it seems to have this peculiar way of controlling my mind. I really cannot think. I just sit in one place, and continue to smile. Which isn’t such a bad thing after all. Because after all that smiling, I do write a lot.

It’s a totally different thing though that when I look back on all that I’ve written today, I find most of it crap, and nothing of substance and nothing that’s good enough for my book, save for a few sentences that no one would probably notice anyway. Okay fine, nothing except for a few fab sentences that I’m in love with and that I know by heart even though they aren’t that amazing.

My book feels like my baby, not that I would know what having a baby feels like but. So I hate the fact that I’m going around calling it ‘The unnamed corporate story’ which is what it’s saved as on my laptop. I actually went to the extent of having a discussion as to whether people would buy a book called ‘The unnamed corporate story’ and then I went ahead to chop myself by saying that I certainly wouldn’t buy such a book, because if I had the creativity to write a book, that got published, I would have the creativity to name it something better than ‘The unnamed corporate story’ Because honestly would you go around calling your kid, ‘The unnamed brown eyed girl’ just because you couldn’t think of a spectacular name for her?

Considering how I’m not really writing anything that’s worth reading, I’m going to go now. Where, you may ask. But of course to ‘The unnamed corporate story’ and its countless XXs.

Love.
It pretty much screws us up. A lot. And i know that i've said this before, but this time its something different that i have to say, so listen.
It makes us go mad with the waiting. The waiting for just one text to light up your phone. The waiting for that one perfect meeting, that one perfect sentence. The need for that one sweet line. The promise of a better tomorrow. The disappointment, the hope, the way we give ourselves up. The anticipation of that one perfect moment that will ensure happiness. The deep desire to just be with that person that fills you up until you cant think of anything else. The way it messes with our hearts and souls and minds so much that we cant think. For what?
For some guy to disappoint us? For someone to say that it's over. For someone to just want to be friends?
Just so that we can hurt ourselves? Again?
It rips us open, exposes our weaknesses, and really really hurts because another person that we gave a bit of ourselves to, walked away.
But we cant give up, can we?
Because at the end of the day, love is all that gets us going. And someday, someone will make you feel like you've never felt before. And irrespective of anything else, you'll know that everything else was worth it. Because that is the thing with love.
Its a four letter word, that does not make any sense to anyone, and its not supposed to.
I know that three words, eight letters is all it takes to tell someone how you feel.
But i also do know, that just that one sentence isnt enough for a relationship to work. Which is why when you find the right person, you'll know what to do, and how to do it.
Till then we can only wait right?
And considering how i have an exam in about 2 hours, i think i should probably shut up and go now.

"Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."
-Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy
Season 5 Season Finale- Now or Never

Kriti Patell.
(The last time i wrote about my gem twin, you weren't sure if it was you! As if could ever be someone else!)
You do so much for me that i cant even begin to put it in words. Here's my miserable attempt though!
You are one amazing girl!
You know exactly what to say when to me, and most times i dont even have to finish what i'm saying, for u to understand. :) After talking to you my fears seem insignificant cause u always calm me down.
You've given me the best advice always!
When i say 'What would i ever do without u?'
You tell me, 'You'll never have to find out!'
And i know that ul always be there for me, the way i'll always be there for you!
You tell me stuff that makes my day! And you also message me the right things! :P
Here's to a lifetime of screaming excitedly about stupid things, and always being there for each other!
And yes, i love you too jaan! :)