Friday, November 4, 2011

4 am

I read the other day on Twitter (yes, I hate to admit it, but I no longer hate Twitter) that love is about wanting to be together through those tough times, not the good ones. (JP, you are truly brilliant.)
And it got me thinking, because despite the fact that TUCS is essentially a love story (I'm trying my best to change that) and the fact that I write about love all the time, I don't think I know what my definition of it is.
Does anybody for that matter? But what JP said, got me thinking, and somehow I wanted, needed to know my definition.

I used to write all the quotes I liked on love and life, as a silly 15 year old, and I still treasure the one piece of paper someone once scribbled quotes on and gave me because she just knew me, and she always will.
The ones that have stayed with me over the years and all the drama are just these three-
"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning"
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"
And the most recent, and most true- "Love is eating twenty four ounces of raw fish at 4 o clock in the morning"

So what is love then?
And how can it be the most beautiful thing in the world, when it has the power to make you miserable?
Grey's Anatomy has this one line, "The person who invented the phrase happily ever after should have his ass kicked so hard." which I believe in so much. Because it's never going to be easy right?
Whether you've been married for 50 odd years or if you're just getting to know each other, or if you've always known each other, love is this potent drug that messes with you.
And it's never going to get any easier, because tomorrow will always bring another unresolved issue, another unforeseen complication, a stupid misunderstanding or simply just a difference of opinion.
We grow up with this foolish notion, nurturing this naive dream, this fantasy of what love is- and in reality love can be dark and terrifying because of the power it wields over you.

And while I'm no expert in the field, the one thing I do believe in- Love isn't a game to be won. Its not Him vs. Her and who was right, or who always texts first. Its about an 'us' or a 'we'. And you've just got to make the most of the time you get, because you'll never be able to turn back time.

Love has soul-shattering happiness and heartbreaking lows. Its not simple. It simply can't be.
And somehow, even though I wish I could, I don't think I can ever quite describe what it is- because it takes on so many forms, so many shapes, and more so because the meaning changes with time and from person to person.

And yet, if you know this, love might just be the simplest thing in the world-
Someone once told me a quote which for me truly reflected the essence of the whole damn thing-
If two people love each other but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
Never. 

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