Friday, February 4, 2011

Fridays, February, Finance and the Future

Its February finally. And it's Friday. Thank God for that.
Contrary to popular belief constant interruptions like the doorbell do NOT inspire me. Especially when it happens to ring five hundred frigging million times in the day. And I just had to say that for some reason.
Coming to what I wanted to say, my eternal confusion- I didn't attend a 2 hour presentation on shares and debentures by Swaroopa Ma'am yesterday, choosing instead to write TUCS. Fortunately there was no attendance taken. But see the real reason is I'm scared, terrified even that I'll get swayed by her ecletic presence and promptly switch to Finance for my specialisation. I want to do Marketing, but there's no denying that everytime I sit down to write a page in TUCS promising myself to make it a purely Pinnacle page- full of ad campaigns and photoshoots and taglines and press releases, I get distracted and barely 400 words later I give up. I stop and start rewriting the same concept, the same dramatic turn of events and the same dialogues only now they happen in SRP and have everything to do with cash crunches, and revenue problems and loans and debentures. Not to mention the idea even of Marketing seems exhausting right now.
I'd like to use the line "Innocently, and inadvertently intrigued me." but I don't quite know where to use it. The idea of stringing together all the small bits, all the many many pages of TUCS and its many babies and editing it to see if it makes sense is exhausting to say the least. Its daunting and terrifying and it's too precious. TUCS is my baby. Which just makes this whole thing scarier. And every time I see the number of documents that have accumulated I die a little bit, well a part of me does. But I know that I can't not write it. TUCS is something that I need to get out of me, it's something, a story that I believe needs to be told, irrespective of what happens in the process.
I think I'm a closet olive lover. The other day I shockingly picked out only four black olives from my sandwich and just about died when I realised I had eaten the many zillion others. And I do remember eating green olives in my pasta and loving them the other night. I shock myself.
This post is rather random I realise, but well it's all I have to say right now.

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