Sometimes no matter how much you prepare yourself for an event, somethings will take you by surprise. Sometimes irrespective of how much you push something away, it stays there, glued to you.
Sometimes you realise that even though you've been pushing this thing away, all you want is this thing.
So then what do you do?
When you know everything, and when you know how wrong it is, when you know that you arent that kind of person, and you still cant get a grip on reality, how do you stay away?