I try not to think.
I try my best to be happy.
But there are these moments, where all the pretense seems to fall apart, when the curtains are torn apart, the doors flung open and the windows broken.
Then i have no choice but to see what lies inside of me.
The truth, the bitter and grim, undeniable reality stands before me and i have no where to run.
I cant escape. I'm stuck. Paralysed in time.
Ages seem to pass. I'm stuck like that.
I dont feel anything, except this unbearable loneliness.
This emptiness, this void, strangely enough fills me.
And then finally something happens.
Someone says something, or the door bell rings. Or someone does something.
And its time to move again.
To come back to now.
I move wearily. Not knowing when i'm going to encounter this tiring reality again.
And then i start stiching myself up again.
Cause i know that no one else can do it.
And i know that i need to do it by myself.